What happens if I don't want this gift, to make me into a better person?
We are actually having this discussion on another thread that I started. Maybe read there for the answer. It is about the LBS stages.
As far as your sich goes I will say this
Confusion = MLC, confusion is actually a good thing, I know that you don't want to be here, but you are, and you still have lessons to learn whether you want to or not. Actually that you need to be here is something that you need to learn. I am just like you and I thought WHY ME? I am perfect. I have learned everything already. Do I need to spell out what has happened?
You are getting good advice. Keep posting asking questions. Read as much as possible. The resource thread has a list of books on it that you can read if you run out of things to do. Unless you read a book an hour that should keep you busy for a while.
