Holy Crap! Didn't expect THIS!

[Trixi]

@Kalni- I totally understood what you were saying. H had said previously that I made him a better man.

@Dom- you would be proud of me

Tonight he came over to load up stuff for the dump and he was in a sort of "mood"...he said that he was doing what was "right" after weighing the pros and cons, but that he was sort of kicking and screaming. (That was the perfect lead in!)

I said that I understood what how he felt, but that ultimately, it didn't mean all that much to me; that it was sort of like a kid that half way thru the sports season changes their mind. A good parent will say "No, you made a commitment, you're going to finish the season" and even if the kid is initially resistant, they will usually get back into the swing of things." I told him that he is very childlike in that he is driven by his emotions, he stops when things get tough, he hasn't learned to keep his word. (I did this with love.) He actually agreed with me.

I said "I'm not going to just let you not keep your word." H "You mean from our wedding day?" Me "yup."

By the time we started to eat dinner HE was saying "so, we're in this together?" and "It's "us" against the world, right?". He said that he did find his wedding ring, but it's one that neither one of us likes. It's too small and sort of 'sharp' on the edge. He found the box for the ring that means the most to him (we bought it around our 9 year anniversary to replace the uncomfortable ring). He had said to God that he would take it as sign if he found the ring; so he found the box of the ring he wanted (empty darn it)and the "wrong" rign, but he still took it as a sign.

He owned up to a lot of his wrong-doings. Said that he has been a fool, stupid and squandered much of what he had.

He asked how I felt about moving back and I said not very good at all. And he looked at me and said "Why do you put yourself thru this?! You must really love me."

We talked about a lot of things- A LOT. and for now, I feel more hopeful than I have in a really long time. When he was leaving he said "We're both in it, to win it- 100%."