feel like giving up - pt 2

[S.T. _I Made It!]

The new ones I'm gonna try are meeting new people - going out with guys - creating platonic male friendships.

the first half of this is great! but the second...not. unless your getting in a group of people with guys and girls. even if you wanted a D, I would still suggest the same thing. You aren't anywhere close to being alone with another guy. you are way too vulnerable and things could easily happen, and you need to save YOU first before anything like that takes place.

also, on the boundary...IMHO, yes, your H could easily be having an A...I think you already felt it was an EA, and you already know ultimatums don't work.

are you prepared to kick him out if he doesn't follow the boundary you will set? that is the first question. Because you can make diff consequences for different boundaries.

IMHO, if he's in an A, then this is the behavior you should expect. However, if you would like to create this boundary, You could say at the most opportune moment in time,

"H, is this a good time to ask some questions?" sure- "I wanted to know what you felt was a considerate and appropriate time to come home every night as a father and husband."

depending on answer, if he says something appropriate that you like, you can say,
"I agree, do you think you could do that for us from now on?"

if he doesn't say something appropriate, you say
"I see. I wanted to know because I feel I am being taken advantage of and I need you to show more respect to the family by coming home at a decent time or at least let us know what is going on. Is that something you can do?"

"If that is something you cannot do, then you probably/will need to work out new living arrangements for yourself"