How do I act?

[Surviving03]

well.. it is def cake-eating... and its completely unfair and disgusting IMO. How long am I supposed to just sit here? and wait for an answer which very well could be that he still isnt interested in this M. He has said before that me leaving here isnt necessarily the end of us for him, but I know that for me, it will be. I have to pick up and move to a different country, get a whole new life, a new job, a new place to live, everything... and I couldnt say where he would fit into that life when and if he EVER makes a decision... so for me it would be over. I really believe that it is best for me to accept that my M is over and get out of here, its just HARD to actually do that. I wasnt unhappy in this M, I love him with all my heart... so its hard to change my thinking and just go and be content with that... but the more hurtful things he says, the easier it might be for me to leave. I hope I can trust someone else in the future, trust that when they make their vows they meant them for longer than 2 years... and that when they seem happy with me they actually are happy with me.....