Huband is having an emotional affair

[ALJ]

I am beginning to see just how selfish and childish my husband had been acting in our 10 year marriage. He began a habit of going out to clubs partying every weekend the same year that we got married and seemed to act like he was a bachelor. I remember the times where he was not there for me when I needed him the most, physically or emotionally. H always wanted and brought material things that we could not afford and then would complain that we never had money. Of course, I would never speak up about these things just to keep him happy. I am beginning to wonder if he really loved me to begin with. This separation has really brought this to my attention.

Anyways, sorry for the above rant. I am not saying that I was without fault in the breakdown of my marriage but I just wanted to get that off of my chest.

Allen, I am sure there are people in my family that would support me in my quest in standing for my marriage. But confrontation? I just don't know. I was thinking about asking my dad to talk to H but he is probably still upset with H for leaving in the first place. My dad does not know about the OW and I don't know what he might say to H in the heat of the moment and my dad still asks me if I want him to shoot H (he asks this with a smile on his face). I could ask my MIL to talk to H but I think she is afraid of saying anything to him or doesn't know how to approach the subject.

I have been following your advice about asking H to stop hurting me and the kids. I texted him and asked him does it matter to him or does he even care that he is hurting us. His reply was that my question does not have a one part answer. Did I want answers or am I trying to make him feel bad. He then said he would call me later. He didn't call and I was glad he didn't because he is not and will not listen to any of my reasoning. He says he is not going to keep debating the issue with me. H has run out of money but has found a part time telemarketing job that he says that he hates but he makes sure that I know (in a round about way) that he is going to stay down there for good, even if he has to work 2 or 3 jobs. I'm sure OW has a lot to do with that too. Should I keep pressing the issue of him hurting me and the kids when I talk to him?