Honestly, this all sounds like a bunch of BS to me.
It is terribly rude to make plans to have dinner then get trapped in a car for a terribly emotional talk without prior knowledge. Next time kindly tell your H that if he invites you to dinner you expect to have dinner as planned. If he wants to talk that is fine however springing it on you when it suits him is not something you care to have happen again.
Your H asked you out to let you know his legal plans. He needed to feel like the "good guy" so he framed it as "exploring options" and followed up with all kinds of tears.
My H sat here and sobbed like a baby when he said he was divorcing me. He said how much he loved me, how I was his best friend, the only person he felt bonded to and how it was the saddest moment of his life. Right. If any of that was even close to the truth he would not have walked out and went right to OW's house.
Your H feels guilty so it is much easier for him to lead you to believe all the stuff he said. It is for his own benefit to help ease his guilt.
Depressed people stay in such a state because they cannot admit they have a terrible problem or they are so far gone they don't even know what a state of depression they are living in. If he is aware he is depressed and has access to health care or alternative methods to address his depression then it's odd to me he is *that* sad yet chooses to do nothing about it.
I am sorry but this routine is something that is posted here almost each day. Sure, it tugs on your heart strings to see the person you love appear to be so conflicted yet they still are making the choice to "check out their legal options".
I would make an appt. to see an attny ASAP to also check out your legal options. If you really think about it, it makes no sense that he tells you that you can have it all and it all belongs to you anyway yet he still feels the need to check out his options.
If you were asked out on a first date and you met the person you were going out with at the restaurant and instead of following through with the plans to share a meal they trapped you in the car for close to 3 hours what would you think?
Guilt, depression, fear and all associated with walking away from a spouse are only things the WAS can address and change. There is not a reason in the world for him to cry and burden you with his stuff. Being left is hard enough without having to listen to this.
