!Help! Need Advice and encouragement!

[stark648]

W came over---we had big argument because she was calling biological dad of d-15 to come get her and take her back to New York to live w/him.

She was way paranoid about me keeping her from seeing girls --I told her that was not the case. She thought I was going to sneaky-adopt d-15 from under bio-dad and keep W from seeing her or something. I corrected her on that and several other items.

We argued about a lot of stuff and I basically called her on her lies to herself and the kids about ditching them and several other things. She was telling me I was no saint, and I said I didn't break #7 on the big 10 commandments and nothing I ever did deserved or excused that. I told her I was not this evil person she was making me out to be. I said d-15 would run away from her bio_dad's house and was W trying to sentence her daughter to the life she had had when she was younger? Bio-dad would want d-15 only to baby-sit his alchy-wife and her wild kids.

She finally quit the tough and nasty attacks and admitted she was extremely depressed, upset, and paranoid Friday. I told her that didn't excuse the behavior towards the girls. She did give them an apology. I told her I was never keeping her from the girls, but if she was supposed to get them for a day, she needed to be responsible and follow through.

She ended up crying quite a lot and was not angry or
aggressive anymore---we had a pretty good talk. She admitted her low self-esteem and self-image, etc. is and has been the problem. I told her only God could heal her and she would have to get right with Him and persevere in a growing relationship with Him. I can't fix her, OM can't, her screwball therapist and her mother can't --and I told her she was listening to some evil influences inside and outside of herself.

I told her my therapist had been feeding me b-s about "doing for me", etc. and I told him the kids came first. We covered a lot and it was a really good discussion by the time we were done.

She said that for a long time she had thought I deserved somebody better than her. I told her I had never wanted anyone else and that I loved her through all the b-s over the years. She said she couldn't get past some of the treatment she had done to ME. I told her that was forgiven long ago and she needed to forgive herself(which she said she couldn't). I also told her the romantic side btw her and OM would change over time and that real love was a decision and a commitment. There was lots more, but this is long enough. I think it was good.
She said she had really noticed a lot of changes in me. she also asked me why I had never cried about her leaving. I said-would it have made a diff? I then asked her if she had to work tomorrow and told her she might call it 'controlling', but she needed to go home and sleep and we needed sleep also. She left and went home rather worn out, but we were on good terms, I suppose. I had no contact with her today, but I think she has a lot to think on, I don't know. She hasn't found her happiness w/OM and I think she's starting to seriously unravel. I didn't tell her to come back or anything, but earlier I had mentioned that I couldn't just "turn off" my love for her.-And she had paid me some compliments in there, as well.