I feel the same way about the emotional disconnect..and the small chit chat. We have had very few good conversations over the past few months..but as I mentioned to you before..Saturday was a good one. We talked about our R but we were also able to talk about other things..what our friends were doing, what family was up to...etc.
You cannot force the connection...it cannot go back to the way it was overnight. I don't know what the 'magic' bullet is because I am still in the same boat as you..but I am going to try the baby step method. I want to be able to talk about anything other than our R woes with my H right now..we need to learn to be friends again. I don't think we are going to have a 'game changing' conversation..I think that this will need to be a gradual process...very very slow.
You and I are not good with having patience...but I think this is the lesson for us to learn right now. Really back off..it is uncomfortable to do because it is so different than what we have ever done..but what we have done isn't working. Stop the R talk with him...it is draining for both you and him. Let him bring up conversation..if he doesn't bring anything up..get off that phone. He doesn't fully participate in the conversation because he is used to you driving the conversation. Stop driving it- let him have the wheel..see where it goes. 180
