As far as support from his friends and family, well they like me and they have all commented on his disrespectful treatment of me. I have already talked a bit with his dad about what is going on because his mom did something similar to his dad in their marriage. H's mom wanted to be separated but live together to keep up appearances and ended up having an affair and serving D papers, so his dad has been there. I did tell his dad about the OW and the late-night phone calls and texting, I also told him about the separation. H doesn't know I told him this stuff, but H does know that I WILL NOT be "keeping up appearances" just for his comfort. If H wants to separate (even separate but live together) I will not keep it a secret. H's response was to cancel all plans with his family for now so I won't be near them...
What is the fear I need to get rid of? Well, the first is obvious. I don't want to be left for another woman, and I don't want to push him towards this other woman. I fear that the future I've contributed to between us is going to crash and burn if I make the wrong move. What is effective? I really don't know at this point. It seems like everything I do is ineffective! What is the right thing to do? I need to take care of myself and make changes that will affect my life positively whether H is in the picture or not. I need to protect my son from poor examples of marriage and relationships, and I should get myself out of self-pity mode! Easier said than done, but I am trying! Looking forward to tomorrow's visit with the C so I can offload a bit.
