flowmom | need to commit to myself

[flowmom]

CG, the debt will have to be dealt with one way or another, and the sooner the better. Having this level if debt is stressful and unhealthy for both H and I. We had debt of this magnitude that followed exactly the same pattern last year -- it hit a peak Dec 2008 (when we started MC) and was paid off around May 2009 (when we stopped MC). He is not acting any differently WRT to the debt than he was last time. You may be right that he's trying to pay off the debt before tackling D. But realistically I don't believe that my earning or contribution to debt repayment is going to affect the final outcome of this, either our chances of reconciliation or the outcome of D negotiations. Anyway, I haven't "caved" or anything. I'm planning to do the work that I want to do, and I am watching my spending so that we can continue paying off the debt.

H does want to D me...there's isn't that much doubt in my mind. His actions are consistent with someone who wants an amicable D, and I can't read anything else into his actions. He is very goal-oriented and he will proceed towards that goal systematically. I'm guessing that if he doesn't have a change of heart by the 6 month point, it will be game over because his desire to wrap things up will overpower him by then, if not sooner. I don't see my sitch following the path of most LBW piecers around here, whose WAHs seem to have been able to live with ambivalence for much longer than I can imagine my H tolerating.