I don't feel anybody is trying to be "more right" and it is very beneficial to have many points of view.
If you want to know the truth what frightens me for you is the following:
I am very fearful if you help your H get out of debt and you start earning a decent income then he will proceed with the divorce. Not having debt makes a divorce much easier (from a business standpoint) and could really make a difference as far as child support, spousal support and other monetary points.
I know you love your H but honestly, my gut tells me as soon as the debt is rectified and you are earning he will walk for good. IMO, in his mind that will make the D proceedings easier as far as the financial side goes and he will have very little guilt as he will see for himself that you are fine on your own.
I am not suggesting you go balls to the walls or get ugly or nasty but IMO all this coddling and pussy footing needs to stop today. I feel you are so afraid to stand up for yourself because you are fearful it will push your H to pull the D trigger. Honestly, he is in a [censored] position to D right now and he knows it. IMO there is a reason he is harping on the finances so much and I feel he thinks the sooner the money thing can be fixed the sooner he can divorce.
Sorry, I know this is not what you want to hear and I hope I am so far off base I am on Mars but your H is pretty obvious IMO.
