As I've mentioned in other threads here, it's not love, at least not love like in other relationships. If a person is free and single, and meets someone new, and falls in love, they usually are beaming. They're nice to everyone, they're happy.
In the case of an extramarital affair, the spouse "in love" with the OP is extremely emotionally conflicted. They are cruel to their estranged spouse. Anyone that opposes their actions are subject to extreme angry outbursts. My MIL told my W that she thought she was hurting her kids, and my W went ballistic. My W has been erratic and paranoid. All part of the script.
This dual nature robx describes is unique to extramarital affairs.
