If you choose to reply, which maybe good at telling him that you have not thrown in any shoes, maybe limit it to a single point.
ex... - I feel comforted that you care enough to not leaving things hanging (your empathy isn't something to run from, it is a value)
- Your love for me is amazing, which is why I think we can work things out into a wonderful & forgiving marriage (trust me and we'll do this better)
- Sometimes your love is so powerful that comments are hard to forgive, but they are being forgiven. (I am not will forgive you)
I don't know if these suggestions are true for your sitch, or of benefit. You know well enough that I'm not a fan of going dark.
Yesterday, W and I managed to survive with me in a massive pit of gloom. At night, she told me she thinks she should sleep in our son's room (as she did the previous night) for the next few months.
Calmly, I said that I didn't agree that would be good, and that I wanted her to sleep next to me as we make our marriage better. I added that I didn't want to let anything else get worse.
Guess what - she did share the bed, and I took a cautious step after another...and I'll leave it to say my hug grew. She has now taken a good step back from the separation she asked for (again!) two days ago. If I went to GAL and hope she turned to me, I don't think it would've gotten anywhere.
Ya, I know you are separated. But the amount that he texts, going to IC, the calls and emails, they all add up. They also make me wonder, TTA, about the following questions:
1. Is/was there an EA or PA or some other thing that he is afraid to admit? Maybe he can't bear to tell you...one more failure to deal with. I don't think this is the case, but I wonder. I doubt asking him would get you anywhere, but maintaining an atmosphere of forgiveness and acceptance might let him see you can (if you can) grow past anything.
2. Is he depressed?
3. Could MC tell him that you really want to be married and will do anything. At the very least, in MC, he may let on to the problems that he is dealing with during IC so you could see the whole picture.
4. He may think...she's not begging, so she must not care. I wonder if love messages are in order because he gives them to you. MWD talked about saying ILY to someone who doesn't as hurtful. He is in pain without you (he says), that sounds like love. Can you include messages of love in all messages?
5. Can asking him to hold off on S or D papers be a bad thing? I think if he knows you aren't stopping him, but that you don't want it, that's great. When I think my W wants
6. Maybe cut off a form of communication, or better could you limit it to responses when you get home so you and he aren't affected at work? My work has gone so downhill that having thinking time at work is OK, but responding calmly to mid day messages would be really too much. Is it too much for you or do you love those connections?
7. Can you meet instead of call? I find a call so much easier to be less intimate. Why not invite him over or to a cafe?
So my comments are really the opposite - take them with care and caution. It is your M and I'm not M expert!
Either way...good luck and may God make things easy for you.
