Hey, coming from a W's point of view, where do I sign up?
Let's see... I get a free pass to ecstasy? PLUS, built-in child care? AND, if I'm nice enough, and give him just enough warm and fuzzies when I get home, I can probably do it again real soon?
Mike, come on, friend!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
While right now she cannot focus on anything but her weekend, I am sure it is beginning to creep into her mind that what she is doing is wrong and she needs to begin thinking about her marriage for Monday is around the corner. Naive yes, but I know my wife, and this, too, shall pass.
Naive yes, we all agree. Your wife thinking that what she is doing is wrong? No. She is thinking what underwear to bring with her and to maintain (shave/wax) herself down there for the big event, how much money you want to put on this? All part of the WAW script bro, get the book, read it, in that "WAW fog" they all do & say alot of the same things, it's actually pretty freaky, weird, scary and downright interesting, it's almost as if they all get fed the same programming in this mode because they all seem to do, say and act the same way.
No. She is thinking what underwear to bring with her and to maintain (shave/wax) herself down there for the big event
Unbelievable! That is almost exactly what my W said to OM the day after she called me crying and I reassured her I was still under her control. It really is a script. We humans are not nearly as unique as our egos like to think we are.
Mike, listen to us! Take a stand! Put it all on the line! I wish I had.
Actually, part of me now is kind of glad I didn't, because in my case I think it would have worked, and I would have been stuck with my crazy roller coaster WAW back in my life, instead of being a happy single guy right now! LOL!
future, I'm telling you this is an autopilot mechanism that goes on with WAW's who are about to embark on their first sexual encounter outside of their marriage while they are married, I'm not making it up, I have read about this very thing happening so many times that it is no longer something I'm surprised about, I fully expect it and since it's something that is so common place (yet most men are largely unaware of), i feel it's more of an autopilot process. They're making themselves look good for the OM, they want his approval, he (the OM) is high value to these women and they want to please him, it's exciting for these WAW's because they haven't felt like this in a long time, it makes them giddy and excited that they have someone new that they want to impress and these WAW's don't want to impress their LBH's, they want to leave them which means: no sex, making all the decisions, bossing their spouses around, dictating what will happen, being aggressive, mean, cruel, disrespectful, etc. These WAW's are also the same women who will act the exact opposite with the OM: feminine, submissive, laugh at every joke, talk for hours about their lives, hopes and dreams, extremely sexual, very touchy/feely, very "hungry", very agreeable, very respectful, accomodating, etc.
The same exact person acting 2 distinctly different ways in a short span of time. How do you account for this? WAW autopilot behavior.
future, I'm telling you this is an autopilot mechanism that goes on with WAW's who are about to embark on their first sexual encounter outside of their marriage while they are married, I'm not making it up, I have read about this very thing happening so many times that it is no longer something I'm surprised about, I fully expect it and since it's something that is so common place (yet most men are largely unaware of), i feel it's more of an autopilot process. They're making themselves look good for the OM, they want his approval, he (the OM) is high value to these women and they want to please him, it's exciting for these WAW's because they haven't felt like this in a long time, it makes them giddy and excited that they have someone new that they want to impress and these WAW's don't want to impress their LBH's, they want to leave them which means: no sex, making all the decisions, bossing their spouses around, dictating what will happen, being aggressive, mean, cruel, disrespectful, etc. These WAW's are also the same women who will act the exact opposite with the OM: feminine, submissive, laugh at every joke, talk for hours about their lives, hopes and dreams, extremely sexual, very touchy/feely, very "hungry", very agreeable, very respectful, accomodating, etc.
robx, the intel I got supports your statement 100%. That's why Puppy says be careful about intel, because "it will destroy your soul". I have never been through anything more emotionally and psychologically destructive in my life.
I don't know what it meant, but as my sitch progressed, my W started exhibiting those OM attributes toward me, except the sexual part, and I was starting to wonder if that was next. As I looked stronger to her, she started treating me with respect, kindness, acting feminine and submissive, stroking my ego, etc. We started going out as a couple, and had a great time. I was a confused mess. I think I was close to having her switch back to me, but as I said, when she'd really test me, I'd fail, because I so much wanted my family back together. Seeing my kids crying was my achilles heal. It's so frustrating, because I don't see that as weakness. She knew all she had to do was say the word, and I'd take her back.
Only now has that changed, and it's probably too late, as our R is essentially destroyed. The only way to give me a workable platform on which to rebuild our marriage was for her to express extreme remorse for what she did, but she wouldn't. In fact, she said she couldn't. How can she express remorse for something that was so exciting and enjoyable?
As I've mentioned in other threads here, it's not love, at least not love like in other relationships. If a person is free and single, and meets someone new, and falls in love, they usually are beaming. They're nice to everyone, they're happy.
In the case of an extramarital affair, the spouse "in love" with the OP is extremely emotionally conflicted. They are cruel to their estranged spouse. Anyone that opposes their actions are subject to extreme angry outbursts. My MIL told my W that she thought she was hurting her kids, and my W went ballistic. My W has been erratic and paranoid. All part of the script.
This dual nature robx describes is unique to extramarital affairs.
