well...just got an email from my H. wasn't expecting to hear from him this week until we meet up on sunday. funny how just opening an email from him makes my heart pound out of my chest.

he just said he didn't want to leave our conversation the way it had ended for a week and that he was sorry he wasn't saying things i wanted to hear and that he didn't have a solution to "take it all away."

i know i need to sit back and take some time and think about how i want to respond to that. i want to let him know that i understand that he's in a state of confusion, and that no one on earth has a solution to take it all away. nothing is going to change our past but together we can change our future, despite the fact that it would be a long, hard, and very uncertain road.

he does have another session with his IC tonight and is going to philly with one of his good friends over the weekend...a very laid back, mellow guy who will hopefully pass some of his zen along to my H. not sure what my response to his email should be, i'm surprised to have even heard from him at all, and he even signed it "me" which is an affectionate way that we end emails...

any thoughts?

Me30 H29
M2.5 T5
H moved out 1/23/2010
H wants signed agreement 3/30/2010
...feeling hopeless