About Ready To Throw In The Towel

[trytryagain]

acsnow-

i understand that feeling! i do NOT want a divorce, but after several months of the back and forth and flip flopping from my H on what he wants, i'm exhausted. i almost want to call him sometimes and just say, file the papers already! how do you keep this up? i think it depends on how badly you want your M to work.

i've been living apart from my H for only 2 months and we have no papers filed yet, either. but now i'm getting a vibe from him that he wants to "legalize" the separation so we can move on and start healing. when he said that to me i wanted to explode. my H isn't emotionally gone, like your W is, but one day he seems hopeful and optimistic and the next he seems to think it's just too much work and we're just beyond repair.

i haven't attended any family functions with my H since we separated. he has 2 younger sisters (age 13 and 14) and we have a young niece and nephew, and we've both agreed we don't want to confuse anyone in the family by making them think we are together when we're not. like you, we are technically married, but everyone knows our situation.

how comfortable are you with going to the part in the first place? if you think it would be that awkward, why not send your daughters with a gift and a note from you...i just missed my nephew's 3rd birthday party - but i wasn't invited. my SIL never reached out to ask me because i guess she just assumed it would be too awkward. i sent him a card with some stickers in it and texted my SIL on his bday and said i was thinking about them. she seemed pleased that i remembered.

you can skip the party without feeling like you've given up. maybe your absence would make your W realize that family events just aren't the same without you...