Claimed our college aged son as a dependent, even though it is not in the divorce decree, and the former spouse does not financially support him or have him at his home ever.
I told the former spouse it was against the law. He does not care. The former spouse flipped out when contacted by the IRS that his return was rejected. He called accusing and grilling me of using his SSN. I called the IRS to know my rights. The former spouse then called our son (who claimed himself as independent on his return), berated him and had our son amend his tax return.
My son came home and for the first time started talking about what a dipwad his dad is being. That his dad spent more time bitching about the tax return than caring that his son called him on his birthday. His father was done with the call in two minutes.
The former spouse can be so belligerently wrong and not care. The doofus can be audited, penalized and tracked for 7 years. He makes up his own rules (or tries to enforce them).
When I say it's illegal, he doesn't care. I'm talking to my tax attorney friend (who'll be helping me with the taxes) and see what he says. UGGGHHHHH...
Have been having more showings of the house. But no one seems to be taking the brochures. Does that mean zero interest or they're just in a bad place. I'm going to move them to the kitchen for next time, rather than in the entry way.
With the beautiful weather, I'm getting out and about more. Meeting up with friends and finding my quirky sense of humor resurfacing. I'm still much more comfortable hanging out with my women friends, though I'm making friends with a guy who's recently divorced who I've known on the periphery for years. Just friends.. no more.
I contemplated peeking at match.com or some other site. Interestingly more guys are in the writing group than women. And it seems that serious writers are involved in several writing groups, I guess for all the input. The next meeting is on Thursday. I think I'll pull out three poems to be reviewed.. just to get a feel for things. I am excited about that.
I offered to have Easter at my house, inviting my mother-in-law, sisters-in-law and their families. One sister and her family might come here and the other, with older children and a husband who wants to golf that day, would dine with her mom. We'll see what goes on. When my sister-in-law with the adult children called to tell me the plan, she kept talking about her brother, my former spouse. I'd talk a little, listen more, say it wasn't really part of my life anymore. Then it would start up again.
Finally I realized she just needed to talk. So I listened. And eventually it became fun and normal. The call lasted two hours. It's odd.. or not so odd. The former spouse is finally doing what he'd wanted to do for years during our marriage.. blowing off his family, punishing his mother by not communicating with her.
Deep breath. Exhale.
The upside of the divorce is no longer being caught in the stew of his temperament. Bleechy.. hallelujah!
Yes, he sounds like quite the wad, and the SIL thing sounded kinda nice, once you got the preliminaries out of the way. I hope you end up with a nice celebration. As for the writing, you have nothing to lose. Same goes for the match dot com as well, when it's time it will just happen, I'm sure. I've had my hands full out here, will be in touch soon to re-connect. Goldey
Some people will never get it. He seems to want to continue to blame you for all of his problems. I hope your son didn't cave, I mean why should he, he is an adult.
As long as you keep working towards your inner peace I am sure things will improve in your life. I suppose I am lucky that ex is for the most part wrapped up in his fiancee.(Since I can't prove that they filed a complaint against me).
Do you feel good keeping the connection with your former in-laws? If so then continue to be their "daughter" and "sister". Can't believe Easter is only a couple of weeks away.
Hugs to you. kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
G-Woman, Former spouse is quite the jerkwad! Unbelievable behavior, I like "former spouse". Just has a ...a...more detached ring to it than ex-husband. Think I'll use it.
Have you asked your agent about the brochures and their placement? Broker placed mine in dining room, which is kinda odd, out of the way place. Still. every prospect takes one at every showing.
But still, I'm living here with no sale happening or on the horizon. Just a bad, BAD market.
And good for you with your in-law connections. That's priceless. And comforting. I'm happy for you.
Keep writing; stay "quirky."
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Yep! You've bracketed "The Warrior" nicely. (I'm not sure the others here know that your STBX referred to himself as a WARRIOR during his "Take No Prisoners" divorce with you LMAO,,,,,,Warrior!!!!!!)
You really sound like you're finally getting out of the "draft of the wake caused by your divorce". I like former spouse better than "EX HUSBAND"! That sounds too much like it's from a COPS episode...someone with a wife-beater t-shirt (or no shirt) and a Dallas Cowboys hat on backwards or sideways!
Glad to see you're out and about...get walking! Endorphins are wonderful little molecules!
WIth the longer days and warmer temps, everyone's mood improves.
Good to see about the writing group. One of my dear old friends, a Vietnam Vet threw himself into writing (to the tune of three graduate degrees!) instead of the bottle after two failed marriages and spending 1968 in Vietnam as a "real warrior". That's cool about so many men in the writing group. That's new for you too!!
Hang in there. You see him for what he is....no more veneer!
I like former spouse better than "EX HUSBAND"! That sounds too much like it's from a COPS episode...someone with a wife-beater t-shirt (or no shirt) and a Dallas Cowboys hat on backwards or sideways!
NICE! ROTFLMAO!!
I refer to xh as "Marc's father" because I don't want to call him 'my' anything. My former spouse, my xh would be taking ownership of that mess!!!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Unexpectedly saw Pasta Guy last night while at the show's closing. He'd cooked enough food for 50 people who were at the cast party. For fun. Finds it relaxing. I stayed around and helped serve food, had an occasional conversation and circulated chitchatting with folks. That theater group has become like a second family.
I learned a few things last night.
Good things come to those who have the confidence to be involved instead of waiting to be invited.
Flirting is all good, but being myself is better.
I have a fear of gloaming onto someone, so being comfortable in my own skin, in me, in whatever I'm doing is something to revel in. Goodness knows, although I loved the positive aspects of my former relationship, I don't want to hold the negative behaviors either.
It's a delight to feel a natural interest in men reawakening. I hugged a guy I haven't seen in a while and he kept the conversation going. I felt that 'tingle'.. neat!
Not worrying about anything.. just enjoying the moment and hoping I don't get too frustrated fantasizing!
AND.. my daughter had friends over. I was amazed (and amused) that she was such a good hostess.. feeding snacks and dinner and entertaining all on her own. When it's just us, I'm the one who's called on to serve.
I recommended this board to someone and thought I'd pop in to see how you're doing. I'm so proud of you. I truly hope the writing workshop/group helps launch something for you - your writing is too good to waste, my darling.
I'm certain your girl learned her hostess skills from the delightful you.
Love and miss you. And think of you ALWAYS. I'm so glad you're my friend, but wish you weren't so far away.
All is well with me (hooray!).
Kiss, kiss.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
