You're not lame, we have all felt that at one time. If we didn't, we wouldn't be here trying to save our marriages, we would just say "see ya!".
I am still afraid sometimes that detaching is the wrong thing to do, but read what robx, puppy, etc have posted. It is the only thing that works! I am just getting it through my mind that it does work. It is the opposite of what you think will work, but as sandi says, "do what works".
My W will insist on kissing me good-bye or good-night but will not touch me. No hug, not even a hand on my shoulder. She will sometimes want to f***, not make love, just monkey sex. Sounds great but I miss the love and affection and touches and holding hands. Now who sounds lame?
The only times I get any relief for myself is when I GAL and detach. Detach yourself from her negative feelings for you. I am not all the way there yet, but when she is in her alien mood, I'm not dealing with my W, it is someone else that I don't know. How can someone you don't know bring you down? If a stranger walked by you on the street and started going off on you about how you looked or acted or walked and talked, you would just laugh at them and walk away. They couldn't bring you down because you don't even know them. You would carry on with your day and forget that you even ran into that person. That's what we have to do with our wives. They are not who we remember and fell in love with right now.
Try it, it can't hurt. Is what you're doing now working? Is it helping you feel better about you? No. Same here. The worst thing that can happen is nothing changes. We have to take our lives back and not be co-dependant on them. Like PDT says, embrace the suck! Not fun at all but necessary. Hang in there!
