Will I ever be forgiven???

[AtTheEnd?]

I still feel the betrayal and feel a certain lack of trust for my WAS, but then again, we don't have any sort of R. She was deep into the EA, buying a new cell phone, on the computer at all times, hiding everything. I was a wreck, and it didn't matter what I did, everything was wrong or bad. I'd never seen anger like that, but then after a few months, it all stopped. I even found her pricing and searching for plane tickets to go and see OM. A few months into this, she told me that she was going to go to him, but that he was a jerk. Later denied even saying that. She would often say something, then later deny saying it. All of this was very painful, and I understand the WAS being in a fog and such, but what's to say that won't come back again? I suppose trying for the sake of the children is best, if it were to ever come to that, but how do you trust again?

A friend was telling me that the OM was merely a crutch to get her through the hardest part, and once she didn't need him, she would move onward with the D. OM will never last. MIL said that the OM was only boosting WAS's self esteem. He was safe being so far away, and that it was helping WAS feel better. Not really sure what to think about it, but I do know that I'd rather not even think about it at this point. I guess that's why I'm interested in this thread. I want to know if we were to reconcile, will my WAS know what she has done to the LBS. I own up to my part in the disintegration of our R, apologized for it, and then tried to become the best person that I could (well, this is a constant work-in-progress). I just won't be able to work on anything if she continues to blame me for 100% of the problems.