He may just be looking for sympathy from you. I wouldnt respond to it. Maybe just acknowledge that you got the email and you appreciate him sharing his thoughts with you.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
The problem I have with the email he sent you is that it seems like a whole bunch of smoke and mirror and deflection.
"I'm still bonking the biotch, but I want you to feel sorry for me and see how hard this is for me."
Look, I'll be one of the first ones to defend the MLCer and tell you that what they are going through is harder than anything you can imagine...HOWEVER, not when they they are using you and your confusion against you.
Mila, you already acknowledged the email. Nothing more you have to do.
You may want too, and that is up to you, but if you are expecting a breakthrough communication based upon his "POOR ME" email...you won't get it.
Until his affair dies on its own...those letters of his are smoke and mirrors, designed to make you feel bad for him.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
SA, Jack, Bworl, glamgirl, confusedwife, kissak. Thank you my friends you all seem to agree that he is just full of himself.
Bworl you have no idea how much I wanted to send him this
Quote:
"There is no separation between personal and professional integrity. One without the other means you have none. Lie and cheat or not professionally, you have done both personally and continue to do so. You have zero integrity with me, or with anyone else you are not currently doing in bed. Save your laments for someone easily fooled by words disguised as meaning."
But I better not
Jack I see your point
Quote:
"Look, I'll be one of the first ones to defend the MLCer and tell you that what they are going through is harder than anything you can imagine...HOWEVER, not when they they are using you and your confusion against you".
That's how I'm trying to look at it, he is probably going through hell and at times I really feel for him, other times I just want to kill him.
I know that the affair is nowhere to be over, and he is not expressing any confusion regarding his choices. He just really wants me to like him and understand him and forgive him and to be there for him just like before accept no sex, he has OW for the "passion" part. The ultimate selfishness....
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I didn't send him the email. No need anymore. He brought it up again in person yesterday.
Last night we went to a business networking function together. I picked him up we talked about D16 while driving and then he said "I e-mailed you a letter from my dad, I'm not sure if you are still interested in my family". I said "Of course I'm interested, just because you decided to leave us doesn't mean that I'm going to forget about your family, they are my part of my & D16 life and always will be. He started to cry. BTW he still didn't tell his dad that he left us. No guts I guess, his dad is a minister and will disapprove.
He brought up the email again and said that he'd sent it because he wanted me know how he feels and he said "Please believe me I will do anything in my power to make the business work"
I'm starting to think that he is just panicking that I may leave the business... that's why the desperate "trust me" pleas.
We actually had good time together last night, just like in the old days. Before the meeting we went to a wine bar for a glass of red wine while practicing his "speech" for the meeting. We were relaxed, making jokes, laughing. The networking meeting was good talked to lots of people. At the end he said "I forgot how good you are with people, they really like you". It was like he didn't know me and just saw me for the first time. Very strange...
When I got home there was an email from him:
Thank you for coming to network with me, I feel good about going. Watching you talking with people, only confirmed how good you are with people. You relate to them and they like you. Thanks again.
I'm not confused, I have no expectations, I'm just amazed how FU he is right now.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I always viewed that as a 'good' sign. Not telling people.
I'm inclined to see it as a "good" sign too. He asks me on regular bases if I'd already told my mom. I didn't yet and I told him that I don't want to break her heart, that she'd always put him on a pedestal and that this will crush her because I will have to tell her the truth about what's going on. He said "so you are not telling her because you want to protect her?" I said "I'm trying to protect you". My mom lives in Europe so I told him that I don't want to do it over the phone. I also told him she doesn't have to know yet.
Quote:
Do you like jokes?
How does a lawyer say F you?
A - "Trust me"
LOL I like it
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
"Please believe me I will do anything in my power to make the business work"
Makes me wonder why they can be this way about work but not with relationships.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
kissak - I agree, I actually told him when I discovered about the OW. "If you'd put as much effort into our relationship as you did into the affair all the things you said that you were unhappy about would have been solved".
trapt - I think that in his "anger" stage of his MLC he's made such a monster out of me in his mind that he doesn't know the REAL me at this stage.
jack - I will keep that joke in my pocket for when the time is right. Hope he gets it...but I have my doubts.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
