She Say's She Want's Out Of The Marriage

[steady]

robX posted this on another thread and I thought it would be helpful here. It's along the same lines as what we've been talking about:


Let's get you started with some new points for you to consider going forward:
- you don't need to pursue your wife, create some space, move in the opposite direction. Human nature dictates we pursue what we want and don't have but it also dictates that we run away from things that pursue us
- you don't need to convince your wife that you're worth her approval, doing so communicates the opposite
- you don't have to be worried about rocking the boat, afraid to upset your wife, rock the f!@#$* boat, it's OK, you won't drown
- it's ok to mess up, don't worry about having alot to lose, technically you've lost it already but you're still worried about losing it, this is your anxiety talking and it translates in your body language and your actions towards your wife (a$$ kissing, supplicating, being overly nice, etc.)
- if she rejects you it will be the most important event of your life and the end of the world..... no it won't.
- you had better impress your wife as often as you can..... no you don't have to and it works against you if you try to do this
- you should let your wife be in control of the entire situation you're in.... no you don't have to do that, it's ok to stand up for yourself if you feel she is taking advantage of you or using or abusing you, remember you have self-respect (and if you don't have self-respect put it on your to do list of most important things to do)
- if your wife isn't interested in you, it must be your fault.... yeah partially but if another man is in the picture, there isn't much you can do about this except focus on living a great life for yourself and moving on, if she doesn't value you or the relationship she has with you, it's her loss, not yours, get into that mindset
- "Nice guys" finish first and you had better be "nice" to your wife.... well I can agree you can be nice but don't be a "nice guy" who lets her walk all over you, being a doormat is extremely unattractive