While I understand the "man up" approach, it goes against what has worked over the past 30 days.
She has seen me change and has begun talking to me, having good times at family events, seeing that we did have a decent relationship that could have been strengthended.
I disagree with the premise that I have looked bad over the past month.
Ever since I began to focus on my own recovery and stop issuing the emotional edicts, "move out of the house", "split bank accounts", "divorce" things have begun to improve.
Once she has a taste of the OM and wants more, then I will tell her she can continue it outside of my house. I will do so unemotionally and state it very simply. I have earned this simple thing at this point.
She is not looking for another mate - this is all about sex. The OM is married, lives across the country, and has no immediate tie to our family.
She is looking to experience freedom for the first time in a long time.
Coach - I am working and doing good things on this end. I have worked hard at coping with emotions and stress and spend 1-2 hours a day with our son playing afterschool. I have been able to have fun family times again - she sees the work being done.
While right now she cannot focus on anything but her weekend, I am sure it is beginning to creep into her mind that what she is doing is wrong and she needs to begin thinking about her marriage for Monday is around the corner.
Naive yes, but I know my wife, and this, too, shall pass.
You're wrong, she's been pursuing this other man for quite some time, she has the urge to "mate" with him, she is looking for another mate. If this was just about sex Mike, why not just have sex with you? Are you that crappy in bed that she needs to find someone else to have sex with? And let's look at this way, if you're right and this is just about "sex", do you think she will stop at just one weekend? You're a man, how often do you think about sex? Will one weekend of sex satisfy you for the rest of your life? Are you that naive to think that your wife would be the same way? Women are more sexual than men and if you think it stops at one weekend of sex with another man, you're wrong.
