This weekend, my wife will be flying out to have her weekend with the OM.
Mike consider your marriage over at this point if you allow her to do this and then allow her to come back home. I know you think you can reason this all out logically but she doesn't view any of this logically, she's driven by her feelings and you can come up with whatever plans you want to work on the relationship slowly with her but it will not work.
This is her testing you plain and simple and she is determining based on her tests that you no longer have what it takes to be her partner. She is now no longer hiding the affair from you, she has no fear of loss, she is openly flying out to meet the OM and have sex with him and then she tells you when she gets back that maybe you guys can start working on the relationship - she tells you this because even though she doesn't want to be with you, you do come in handy when it comes to other things, ie. a place to live, someone to pay the bills, help take care of the kids, wash dishes, cook meals, clean the house and finance her flying out to meet the OM to have sex, you are the comfortable backup plan if anything in her fantasy life fails and being the "patient" husband is your fantasy, I know you think this is what's going to turn your wife around but it isn't. You giving her a wake up call and a kick in the a$$ will wake her up, she is disrespecting you now to the Nth degree and you are allowing it, you will never have her in your life again after this weekend, I promise you this. A month from now you will be posting on this forum telling us you should have listened.
You have one last chance at this.
Tell her that if she flies out to have sex with the OM that the marriage is over, you will no longer be her friend, let alone "best friend", you won't be the patient husband, you will be civil towards her because you are co-parents but that means you won't talk to her about anything other than the kids going forward and you will make arrangements to get the divorce in place and get joint custody of your children. If she goes through with this weekend, it is OVER and she can't fool you or herself into thinking she can come back and dictate the details of the new relationship.
Mike, this is the one thing you need to do, if you don't do this be prepared that nothing you do after this will ever matter. Being a "patient" husband is the same as being a wussy feminine man at this point, she doesn't respect you at all and this weekend she will disrespect you more than at any other point in your relationship and you are communicating to her that it's ok, you'll still be waiting for her to come back even after she craps on you. How could anyone respect you for acting like this?
I don't usually come out and tell people they're wrong on these forums but I'm going to do it now, you're wrong Mike and this is a big mistake and I'm really feeling bad for you at this point.
