Ok..so that adds some perspective; but if you don't find it appropriate, why are you just standing by?
In the ebb and flow of marriage, sometimes one partner has to tend the fire a bit more than the other. A healthy marriage has both partners monitoring the ebb and flow - its not a scoring system but each persons needs have to be met.
In short, we became two people who were not fulfilling each other's needs.
I recognize the person I became - not just as a husband but as a person. I have done things in the past 60 days to correct my path and embrace a more fuller life. As time goes on, she will recognize that these new habits are something I am following through on and it will make it easier for her to "forget the past" but in the meantime, she is living selfishly so that she can experience things which she has wanted to do - or at least, that's how she is rationalizing it.
Next week is a critical time for our relationship as she will be able to demonstrate her commitment to working this through.
When she told me last week that she wanted to slowly work on the R, I answered with, "the relationship must stop because I do not deserve to be in competition for her". She was unable to commit then.
We will see if she is able to commit once she has spent the weekend away from her family doing something selfish.
