Sorry I've been MIA. Anyway, just for the record, 3 months of separation is nothing. NOTHING. You are still finding your balance and are on survival mode/coping mode. If you feel ready to take the next steps, which you seem to be, fine...
I strongly object to the idea of being clear about your GAL so that H will not think you are over him or however you expressed it. First, that means FEAR. You will be doing something out of fear. I thought that was and should be #1 of your goals (FEAR=False Evidence Appearing Right).IMO, you should just be careful not to go overboard with CREATING mystery because they can sense it isnt true. You have no reason to tell your WAH, your whereabouts etc, unless it is related to the kids. Does he tell you what he has been doing? I doubt it. Granted you have been staying at home and probably, he is used to you being at home, it is also a change that shows your independence. Secondly, IMHO and according to MY experience,HE doenst need reassurance you love him. He takes that for granted.
When he talks about the divorce, you will say what? That you need to take care of the kids and cant TALK about it? Hmmm, resisting and manipulating. That's not the way to go IMO. Talk about it, hear him out if he wants to. You dont have to ACT on it the next morning. But, how long do you think you can put it off? I mean, if he is dead set on it, you will only get him upset... IMO.
Regarding finances: I would use a statement such as "earning more is more of a personal goal I have than something you wish at this point. I want that for me more than you want it for me. So, keep in mind we are on the same boat on this. BUT, I will not rush and I will take my next steps carefully cause this is very important for me and my future."
LLs: First try to figure out which one is his. What did he use to do for you when things were going well? Be careful not to smoother him.
Open and friendly? I would say friendly and distant. Friendly and discreet, friendly and "minding your own business", friendly and easygoing, breezy, light... Not open.
What do you call rejection to your above plan? He cant reject 1 & 6 I think, he cant reject you treating him nicely, he cant reject you speaking your mind, he cant reject you being friendly etc etc He may NOT respond but thats OK. Be patient. There is limited risk involved my dear. You are separated. This is a watch and wait "game". Test and trial phase.
