My Story

[Wired]

wooops hit submit button to early this is continued from above

I have to do 90 days for carrying a concealed weapon(they lessoned the charge due to the circumstances.)
And of course the story doesnt have a happy ending, she dumps me and my life spirals downwards.
I became a true man whore, hanging out in bars, doing as much drugs as I could lay my hands on and in and out of some really bad relationships and sleeping with any drunk girl I could find when the lights came up at last call.
Until I met my wife. Something in here was different, hell I even refused to have sex with her for the first few months of us dating as I didnt want it to be "just another lay.
So I started cleaning my act up, quit the drugs and alcohol for the most part, not enough tho as I look back. And I chased this woman. Only problem is she was busy chasing the kids. So we went around in circles. I think this is why I never truly got rid of this shell as I never recieved the love from her that I needed at the time. And over the years I think I forgot how to love and just did what any other working dad would do, go to work, bring home money, and pretend all was fine.

So here I am now. Trying to make up for 18 years of not being the true loving dad I should have been. But even to this day I still have the images of the past haunting me that I need to get rid of.

As far as the talk with the children,that went better then could be hoped for. Im not sure what their mother is feeding them during the day, but I truly believe at least 2 of them know I love them and I am trying to get better.

So continues the saga. I think my stitch has gotten up to 100 posts, maybe time to start a new one.