Thanks guys, I am wondering what kind of vibes I give out because I am not in such a bad place, I mean not worse than before at least. Granted my dizzy spells are driving me crazy and that I am noticing signs of depression (I mean everybody is depressed why cant I be depressed as well, right?), that my dad is fighting cancer and my mom has been really sad, the rest such as my kids, my work, etc are ok.
Anyway, june if I were his second choice, I would run. Simple as that. No I havent "grabbed him". It's not too agressive for me, I just dont feelt like it.
Ali, I know he chose me, but I havent seen signs of choosing me because of me or because of the package, I understand what you are saying and it is basically what I want to believe as well but he is missing supporting actions...
Bill, Settling is accepting a spouse back in to your home, even though they treat you the same way they did before they left. No, that is not the case. Before he left he acted as if he didnt want to be near me, he was mean, hurtful, disrespectful,...gone, now he is present, he is polite and caring and careful and tender. Not as much as I would like him to, but he is.
Settling is accepting a spouse who professes to be unable to be physically intimate with you without telling you the honest reason why. I think he doesnt even know why. He said twice we need to feel connected first, he told my GF at first, he is scared I will break down during LM and he cant handle that... I think we just hav eto start at some point. We got used to leaving that part of the R out of our routine for a while. I like sex. I am not living a sexless life, so that will be resolved, one way or another. That ALONE IS a dealbreaker for me
Settling is allowing someone to point the finger of blame at YOU for the relationship problems, either then or now, and accepting that they might be right. Bill, he was right about many things. If you go back to my threads -loooong back- you will see I knew exactly where I went wrong. And he has admitted where he has been wrong.
Yes, I believe that many settle. And no, I do NOT think settling is ever a good thing. EVER. Agreed. For me settling is living a life abandoning any hope for happiness. I am not there yet. I settle with his job schedule for example, big compromise for me. What forced me see through different eyes was the C. She asked me "if a man was able to make you happy from thousands of miles away, you realise your H can do that as well even if he works many hours? It will still be much more time than what you would have in a LDR". She was right. We'll see if he can do it.
Settling is KNOWING that a spouse is unwilling/unable to treat you the way you KNOW you need to be treated, and accepting them back anyway. Agreed. I know he is willing, I know he was able in the past, I am counting on him doing it again K
