How do I act?

[Surviving03]

well... I know I am not DBing very well... man I am trying... but so far I do everything wrong... now I need to know what you guys think about this: we went to C yesterday, and I left there pretty upset. We had been having a pretty good day yesterday before C, we went to lunch with some friends and he had come by my work a couple times and it was almost feeling like normal life, then we went to C and I just gave him an opportunity to do most the talking, and I left there feeling like I just heard my M end in that room. He made it very clear to the counselor that at this point, he has made up his mind that D is the best option, but at the same time he wants to be open minded that it could potentially not be the right thing. And I felt like all we talked about was what I did to lead to the feelings for him that we arent right. So I was sad and I felt like ok this is never going to turn around. Then we go home, talk for awhile.... and he said to me that the truth is he feels like right now his head is telling him we need to get D, I need to leave Turkey and go home...but at the same time he doesnt want to discover later that he made the wrong decision and he said he feels like if I left, he could look back and miss me and regret it and he wouldnt want that either, so he just needs time. And then, I dont know how or why or what happened...but we ended up ML and we shared the same bed last night for the first time... he cuddled me all night, in the middle of ML he looked me dead in the eyes and told me that he does love me.... and told me he wants to take me on the cruise, did some changing around of his vacation plans so that he could take me on the cruise... and this morning when he dropped me off at work, he kissed me goodbye.... so...... wtf???!! I dont want to look too much into it, but last night after ML, it was like normal life, it was like the M i had before he left, his whole demeanor was different...we had dinner, watched TV together, didnt talk about our R anymore, just acted normal.... but I feel like at any point he will start acting like before and thats scary. How will I know?? How will I trust that the turn around is permanent if it really does turn around? I guess I just have to take it one day at a time. I guess I need to let him make the physical advances and for me not to push them, even though I want to.