Need a Plan for My Marriage

[LSG]

Steve,

I don't have any issue with you. It seems that you are so strong in your opinion about my situation. I have been kind of feeling that you had an issue with me. I am just here doing the best I can. I do appreciate everyone's advice because I believe I need it. It just seems that some of the advice you give is so strong without looking at what is happening to me. It sounds like you are going from your perspective and your difficult situation. I am very sorry for the what you have had to go through. I do apologize if I have offended you. That is not my intention. My intention is to make my life and my families better. I do not want a divorce from my wife, and I hope there is a way to at least have her away from this guy, so we can deal with our own issues. I do want a job, and I am trying everyday. I do have some great people helping me with that, and it is not happening as quickly as I would like.

I believe I see what you are doing being tough on me. Maybe I need that, maybe I don't. I don't know at the moment. I do need to continue to work on myself.

I do apologize if I miss judged your good intentions.

Thank you

[Steve McQueen]

"what is going on between your wife and so-n-so" that is how it was delivered to me. then the moving out and moving back in and the moving out and moving back and moving out. she is my next tuesday wife. I had to take a leave of absence from my career to take on a part time teaching job so I can be available for the kids. Sell my home and kick the renters out of my parents old house and move in there. Dont get me started on the money I lost on the cars.... maybe I should just divorce her and get it over with.

piecing? is that a reality?

Rob writes alot better then I do. read his stuff it might make alot more sense to you. Me, I had a wife trying to beat me with a stick, wouldnt talk to me for months, and yet, when I feel single and more like the boy she fell in love with of a sudden I am this golden coin. it is very interesting but i am not giving up who i am.



realize you may not save your marriage. you may find out things that make your marriage not worth saving. but dammit man. you can save yourself. the key is not to obsess about someone that is not obsessing about you.

someone told me in the begining of all of this, 'know yourself' and that is how I have tried to guide myself. its hard. I dare you to try it. IT'S F**KING GREAT TO BE ALIVE!

[mindfull]

Steve,

For someone who can offend me off like no one else, you sure can cut to the chase w/some awesome advice and wisdom for LoveSickGuy. Your story is inspiring. It's too bad you haven't shared it in it's entirety. A lot of people would benefit from your rise from chaos to strength.


LoveSickGuy,

Not a bad idea to heed some of the advice Steve and Rob are giving. They have both, seriously, risen above incredibly humbling ashes, and grown. I know Rob, through alternate medium, and he is truly an inspiration, would probably not have become such a solid man w/out this experience being forced on him. Steve hasn't shared as much, but these last few posts to you have to show you how awful things to be, but yet...

IT'S F**KIN GREAT TO BE ALIVE!



Makes me want to quit my dam# whining!

[LSG]

mindfull,

Thanks for another perspective on things for me. I am and have been listening. I will continue to listen to everyone on this forum. I want things to change. I hope to get to the place where others are and be happy with myself. I will keep trying. I am very impressed with how so many people can be happy with so much unhappiness in their life. That will be my inspiration. I do appreciate everyone sharing their stories with me and everyone else.

Thank you!

[Coach]

I am very impressed with how so many people can be happy with so much unhappiness in their life.

choices:

victim or responsible for yourself

survive or thrive

feel or think

enmeshed or detached

fear or love

doormat or boundaries

crisis or opportunity

react or act according to plan (poise/confidence)

lost or goal-oriented (direction)

weak or confident

blame or responsibility

stuck or open mind

fantasy or reality

doomed or hopeful

down in the dumps or welcoming the challenge


Your choice LSG. Choose wisely.

Cheers

[TrentC]

I am very impressed with how so many people can be happy with so much unhappiness in their life.

choices:

victim or responsible for yourself

[...]

Your choice LSG. Choose wisely.

Cheers

You almost could have stopped here, Coach. Well said!

[LSG]

Hi Coach,

Great advice.

[LSG]

Wife came home earlier than usual tonight. I was suprised. It was kind of nice. She was not moody. Still distant and non-communicative, but I have grown more accustomed to that, so I did not think about it. She is still cheating I am sure. I am trying to focus on myself which is a real challenge. She wanted to take the kids for frozen yogurt, and she said I was welcome when my daughter asked if it was okay. She even asked if I wanted something. It was nice, but I have no misconceptions about what is still going on with the OM.

I am having a better day than yesterday. I took sometime away from everything to care about myself. It helped some.

[LSG]

Last night I fell asleep on the sofa, and I did not wake up until W put a blanket over me. She also said that I should come to bed tonight and not sleep on the sofa because it is bad for my back. She is being nice, and I don't know how to take that. I am not mind reading, just surprised. She is still distant, but is something going on. How does this fit the script of a cheater.

I still want my marriage, and I know I have to work on myself too. I am trying to both instead of just one. It is a start, right.


My brother has been through 2 divorces, and the advice he was giving was so much like Steve's. I really do like you Steve! I am getting you and this whole situation the longer I am here. I still have a long ways to go to only focus on myself, but I am trying.

[LSG]

I actually had a good nights sleep for the first time in months. I guess this taking care yourself. At least it is for me.