Is LRT applicable here?

[pearlharbr]

First of all, I can be fun too! Just check out mindfull's thread. Do come over there for the shopping talk. We haven't really touched on the jewelry topic yet. I know that most women would adore a man who went out of his way to pick out nice pieces for her (I'm definitely on that list!) but it sounds like your W isn't one of them. That's unfortunate but it is what it is.

Glad to hear you're a Gandhi man. I'm definitely in that camp. Read posts by robx, gucci loafer, and Puppy Dog Tails to start. You already know to follow sandi2's list. Now stick to it! Yes, I do think LRT is the right thing since you have to assume that she is still involved with OM. Check out Amybel's thread. Puppy reposted some of Rob's advice just today and it's spot on.

It sounds like you already do a good job of GAL. I would recommend continuing IC to help figure out how to improve yourself in other ways. What were her complaints about you? About the marriage? Not that they are all valid since she's likely to rewrite history to validate her decisions, but often there is some truth mixed in.

It's interesting that she commented on other men being interested in her body. Has your love life slacked off due to her weight gain? It appears that she believes you don't find her attractive.

I agree with both you and mindfull, your W has chosen to focus solely on her career because she's good at it and people respect her there. She probably doesn't feel good about her personal appearance so she chooses to focus on things that do make her feel good. OM came along and made her feel good about her looks and that does something for her.

It sounds like you understand the concepts of love languages. If you get to piecing then you'll have to work hard on speaking her languages.

Right now, continue to work on yourself. Work on detachment. Realize that you can't control her thoughts / feelings / actions, you can only control yourself. If she wants to be D then show her what that looks like. Treat her as you would the mail carrier--pleasant but not overly familiar. Back way off and let her initiate all contact unless it's business related.

I feel like I'm forgetting something but this is already long. I'm here all the time so I'll be back to check in.