flowmom | need to commit to myself

[flowmom]

So we had the finances talk tonight. I give myself a "B" on it. I did sneak in some words of affirmation and a "how can I support you?". H basically said that his business income is going to be decreasing (which was expected because a certain income stream is stopping) and he'll have trouble paying me as much...which is legit IMO. He asked me about my plan for working and I beat around the bush quite a bit and said that I didn't feel comfortable forecasting my work hours in advance but I felt comfortable telling him at the end of the month. He acknowledged that I am starting up my business and that my contracts are in transition, etc. I made reference to things being in transition and my finding my grounding etc. Overall I think it was a reasonable conversation and he wasn't being mean or demanding or anything. He did look stressed and he was having trouble with eye contact...maybe even a bit of jaw clenching - which is a giveaway of the fight-or-flight thing. He may have been holding in a lot of anger, and he might be venting about our conversation to someone this very minute. Hard to know. OTOH, it is a tense topic by its very nature and I guess I shouldn't mind-read too much.