I'm sure that I've been using these kinds of phrases regularly throughout my M. During one of H's spew sessions, he actually accused me of saying: "I'm sorry that you feel that way" in our M when I perceived H to be overreacting to things (as opposed to validating?!) and discounting my role in making him feel that way. I recognized these reactions as resultant from abusive childhood and always feeling like he was being 'told what to do' (even loving things in the interest of his safety or health)... This is - and continues to be - one of H's major complaints. This is MY work - NOT being mommy-like and respecting his (and all other human being's) need to have authority over their own lives.
There sure seems to be a fine line between validating and offense!
SH
Me 42 H39 M 10 years, T 12.75 years MLC began spring 2009 ILYBNILWY 1/18/10 WAS 2/5/10 EA revealed 3/6/10 EA ended (by her) 3/7/10 M - DOA...but working on getting disentangled.
