She had asked me a direct question in C, "I'd like to know why he is resentful of me?" I had to think hard. I'd been concentrating so hard on winning her back, I'd forgiven everything. I had to get myself back to where I was six weeks ago. Questions I haven't asked myself really help.
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So, what do you do to stay active?
Cycling mostly. I don't race, but I train like a racer. I usually put in 30 miles a day. When summer comes I'll mix in some 40-60 mile rides per day with harder 50 mile weekend rides.
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And, do you have a career, as well?
Yes. I'm an academic scientist. I have been for 17 years.
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Or, is she more the career-oriented one?
She is definitely the corporate type. She thrives in a corporate environment. Her company shut down her department a little more than a year ago. She started her own partnership a year ago with her coworkers. The business became self sufficient late last summer. About the time when our major rut started.
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You said she wasn't a size 6 when you married, but has she put on significant weight since you married?
Yes, she has. However, she actually lost quite a bit of weight on Atkins, but gained it all back and then some. She dabbles in exercise, but prefers diets. I picked a really expensive treadmill she wanted 2 years ago. She has used it about 4 times. Don't get me wrong. She is still beautiful to me. Her face is very pretty. I certainly enjoy sex with her. Her weight only really bothers me when my needs aren't met (admiration and domestic support) or her weight gets in the way of activities (recreation companionship).
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No kids, have to ask... fertility issues, or mutually agreed upon lack of desire for kids?
Mutually agreed upon. I am ambivalent about kids. I can see myself being a pretty good dad. But I see that future of me becoming primary (or possibly sole) caretaker and the resentment really setting in. We thought it best for the sake of our marriage to not have kids.
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It is INCREDIBLY odd that she doesn't desire anything done
Yes, I know. But most of my home improvement projects she can't really help on. When I finished drywalling our downstairs, I thought she could help prime the walls. I got out the painting supplies and get this.... she had never painted anything before in her life! This is a farm girl, not Paris Hilton. That lasted 15 minutes and she said she was tired and went to bed and I stayed up painting.
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Do you have a wedding album?
Umm.. yes. We do now. That first week I broke one of Sandi's rules and searched out our wedding photos (still in a box). I also found a handmade wedding album that was a gift from her cousin, still in the box with none of the photos in it. I sat down and organized the photos and filled the album. I questioned her on this and she said she is sensitive about her looks and doesn't especially like to look at herself. <shrug>
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She can't be female, and have a lost gem somewhere in the house and not turning the place upside down!
Yeah. I agree. I periodically will really look in places I haven't before. I tried to downplay it and said it will turn up. Too bad. It was really a really nice custom hand engraved band with a high quality diamond (I think it was VVS2) I had made special for her. I should have just got her something cheap. I don't think she would have cared.
