One of my comments to her was that she was funny in her text, and she is not so stiff today. I told her that I usually have the "stiff one" .. Her response.. " I am not going to touch that one. Now, am I reading to much into this. I have tried numberous times to say small sexual gestures and they are usually ignored.
Quick question. The dirty sexting, is that something you and your wife did before she dropped the bomb on you? Is it something you both liked or it turned both of you on?
I'm asking because when my husband had his affair, he seemed to watch a lot more porn and it translated into him saying things I thought were gross or wanting to have porno-like sex (spanking, bondage, etc.). He never did that before, so it was a red flag that something had changed.
For me, if my husband sent me the same type of message you sent to your wife - AND we had never talked that way before - my first thought would be "This is how you talk to a whore or a porn star, this is not how you are supposed to talk to your wife."
I'd ignore the messages too. I would feel like you want to be with me because you want sex, not because you want to be with me.
It'd be a warning sign to me that I should probably stay away until he got his act together. That's just my take on it, and again, it's only if it's a change that's happened recently.
If you and your W talked this way before everything started going downhill, there might be other people who can answer this.
