hang in there, talia. i totally understand the how did we get to this feeling. my H actually said the D word last night on the phone...and i really didn't know how to handle it. it's so frustrating dealing with someone who can't see the bigger picture of what all this will mean in the long term, and i know it's nearly impossible to keep telling yourself you're better off. but in all reality, you're right. you are. and i am, too.
you know what i keep telling myself? i don't want to not be divorced just because i don't want a divorce. divorce is never the intention when you say "i do," but in the long term, sometimes it's necessary when a relationship goes really wrong.
reality is setting in for me too, and it's freaked me out because i'm scared to death of change. but look how far you've come already. i bet there is a long list of things you've accomplished since the bomb that you never even imagined you'd be capable of doing. like you said, you don't want to stay married to that man. i often think to myself, what is it that i'm holding on to? i was lonely a lot. i was unhappy a lot. why should i settle for that just because i don't want to be 30 and divorced?
starting over can seem like a curse but if you embrace it without fear, you may find it to be a blessing instead.
and at the very least...you're not alone!!
Me30 H29 M2.5 T5 H moved out 1/23/2010 H wants signed agreement 3/30/2010 ...feeling hopeless
