I guess there are a few things that concern me about this list. You were able to provide very detailed actions when the actions revolved around your H but your actions don't contain any steps you will be taking for you.

The actions for YOU are #1, #6 and #7 and there is nothing more than a header. How will you do those things? What steps will you take that you can measure each day?

Everything about your H is well thought out yet there is nothing detailed for you. You have made your H and your children the center of your life for so long and IMO that is something that has to shift a bit.

Please pardon me if I am off base but it seems many of your GAL activities are done in solitude. You mentioned one older friend and your sister but other than that it doesn't really sound to me like you are meeting and interacting with new people. And IMO that is crucial for you. I guess I don't understand the "be less mysterious with your GAL activities" part. Your H knows you rely on him for just about everything (money, companionship) and I think your GAL activities need to be more social before you start sharing. Otherwise he will see that you are still in solitude and it seems your H (at this times) very much looks at you as a mother and not a sexy and independent woman.

As far as what he may or may not think about you dating it seems like you are doing a whole lot of speculation. Honestly, in most cases the WAS is thrilled to know the LBS is dating as it helps them feel less guilty about leaving and less guilty about things they might be doing (or wanting to do) with OP.

I do like the idea of telling him that he should work the budget as if you are not earning anything and if you do earn money you will let him know. There is no reason for you to be helping him pay for his apartment and the fact he is paying the bills for the family has no bearing. He can either pay the bills for the family as he has always done or you can get a court order for him to do so and he knows that. I guess that is why I really don't understand why you would praise him for doing something he is obligated to do AND he has taxed the financial situation further by taking on another rent payment.

Your list does seem rather pursuant. I just worry that some of the ideas will keep you in the "mom zone" in his eyes (offering him food, asking about injuries).

I do think you should prepare yourself for rejection and keep very close watch on his reactions. WAS are like wild animals, when you back them in a corner or pressure them they will either attack or run away. But the most important thing is for you to expand on your "things" with the same detail and thought you did as the "things" for your H.