These suggestions are very helpful. I do know that this will be one more hurdle to overcome and each time we get past something like this, we are getting that much closer to full restoration of the M.
I like the idea of quality time together before and after, being honest about it but not making too much of a big deal, and keeping in touch while he is gone. I do also plan to make some plans to do things for myself, with the kids etc.
Pearl, I think your point about coming to terms with not worrying about it is really important. I guess that is a big part of the detaching isn't it? I have also made it very clear that if this happens again I am done, the M is done. He knows this, and he knows I mean it. And, he knows I can and likely will find out, as I did the first time around. If he chooses that, he knows what the consequences will be and there is nothing I can do about it.
I think I would have liked more time before this happened, but there is nothing I can do about that either.
OK, I'm glad I posted this here before talking to H, because I think I would have made a bigger deal of it and it may have been another set back.
