But if you expose and the family does not react as you expect, and you get a reaction like "these things just happen" or, you're made out to be the bad guy for exposing, what then? Doesn't that help to validate the A to the affair partners?
Even if they don't believe you, if your spouse has any guilt or remorse at all they will feel frustrated that they were exposed, AND you will have the comfort of knowing you tried.
Ultimately its the WS' conscience that has to eat away at him or her.. the family KNOWING he's cheating, even if they encourage it, is still embarassing...
Exposure is a dice roll, some people support you, and some don't, some validate the WS instead... but exposging to see what happens is better than suffering privately in silence.. THAT will just make you ill
At some point you have to trust the public instincts for villifying destructive behaviour...
If you keep the chase up yourself then you will jsut get ill, evetnually you need to step back out of the drama and let the people you exposed to handle him
