When the OW is his mother

[MrBond]

How old are you and your H? Add that to your signature line.

It sounds like he's going through an MLC. An MLC is like a second childhood. Think of him as such. He will pitch a tantrum, stomp his feet, raise his voice until he gets what he wants. Don't get sucked into HIS drama.

Think of a little kid. When they throw a tantrum, do you give in and pacify the child by appeasing them? NO. All it does is satisfy them for the moment and they have learned that each time they raise their voice and act "hurt" or angry, they will get what they want in the end.

Be the "adult" ignore him because these are HIS feelings. HE will have to deal with them. Not you.

"you can see that it is making him more angry.
is that what i want to do tho?"

First thing you need to do is realize that YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR H'S HAPPINESS. If he gets mad, it's his choice. You haven't done anything to be hurtful get him mad at you. It's just that he CHOOSES to be mad at you.

So YOU CHOOSE to not let it bother you. Understand that you aren't going to be able to change his mind and he will definitely tell you the opposite of what you believe. He sees you as the enemy. Hard to see it, but it's true.

It's nothing that you did, it's all within him. And likewise, the only person who can get him out of it, is himself.

Do what you need to do. Take care of yourself and your own needs. YOU are going to need support now more than ever. Go out with friends and family or reconnect with them. Don't make his drama, yours.