Welcome to piecing tristan. I know I've seen you around Newcomers but don't think I've read your story.

Are you and W in MC? Have you done something else to actively work on repairing your M?

I swear by two books: Not Just Friends and After the Affair. BF and I read both and worked through the exercises in ATA in lieu of MC. It was difficult and painful but absolutely necessary for me to get on board with putting this R back on track. Additionally, NJF really helped BF see what I was going through so he has been incredibly understanding with my emotional outbursts and bouts of uncertainty.

If you love somebody, set them free.
http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g