But I cannot at this time seem to break from this shell that is keeping me locked up inside myself.
You've talked about that shell a number of times, Wired, and I think you mentioned it might be a self-defense mechanism again pain. Pardon me if I'm being too personal, but has that shell always been there? If not, when do you think it started? What kinds of pain are you trying to protect yourself from, and is it working? (If those questions are dumb, please just ignore me!) Shells are a pain in the keester aren't they. In one way, they protect you from pain; in another, they cause it.
PS Has anyone told you how well you write!? Your posts in my thread always choke me up. I hope you're keeping a journal. You seem to share your thoughts and feelings so well in writing. If you can't share them with others, at least writing them out may help you find a release. (I'm sorry I don't mean to be pushy with suggestions... there's just this quality to your writing that I'm always so struck by.) I hope it's helping you process all those emotions and that you continue.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
