K, you keep insisting that your H was "in love" with this OW. It was not love! Everything they shared was based on a lie. True love is not based on lies. It was a fantasy, an escape, infatuation. The majority of WAS believe they are "in love" and that OP is their soulmate, so much so that they risk their M and entire lives to be with OP. We all know these feelings are usually temporary. Your H never moved in with OW when the two of you were S for so long. That says a lot.
I agree. I know that for my H, he has used sexual relationships to avoid his issues in the past, but they always had a big emotional drama component to them...it was never "just sex". The "love" stuff and the making her fall in love with him stuff was part of the "fix" that made him feel better about himself and avoid his pain (the most dramatic one was after a brother died accidentally).
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
