Is this piecing?

[flowmom]

But you're right maybe I should have said, please go ahead. I just couldn't stand to see my H storm out as soon as he arrived for S's sake. My father used to do stuff like that - if he were moody he's storm out and it always hurt me. I'm trying to keep S from feeling abaondoned and any thing I can do to have dad here and calm is healthy for S.

But is it healthy for me?

If it's not healthy for you then it's not healthy for S. Your S needs you to role model self care and healthy boundaries (not being reactive/fighting back). I can see that your being the homemaker is part of the deal and I don't have an issue with that. Could you have done something proactive like when he got home saying unapologetically, "hey making dinner didn't happen...do you want to go out and get something or do you want to wait while I whip something up?". Not saying it's your fault that your H acted badly, but I'm just trying to think of how you can deal with situations where you feel you've screwed up: maybe just acknowledging it calmly and with dignity and coming up with solutions could pre-empt some of his negative stuff which seems to lead to your attempting to appease him in a slightly doormat-ish way.