This is all crazy! I'm trying to figure out what is "addiction" and if it's possible to be responsible while using painkillers recreationally? I am trying to figure out the reality here.
He says he's not addicted. He still works and goes to the gymn and functions - if this is true - then wouldn't it be different than being addicted?
I am seeing my L on Thursday.
I can't believe I was feeling so positive and now everything is all mixed up.
And FM, I don't know if I"m a doormat. I honestly don't. IT does sound that way doesn't it? I just know that I need to keep up my end of the deal if we are going to be married - and that is to be a solid homemaker since I don't earn any money. A trigger for H is seeing everything at home be let go - as when he lived here and things were going badly I was gone a lot and doing the minimum with the house and cooking etc.
But you're right maybe I should have said, please go ahead. I just couldn't stand to see my H storm out as soon as he arrived for S's sake. My father used to do stuff like that - if he were moody he's storm out and it always hurt me. I'm trying to keep S from feeling abaondoned and any thing I can do to have dad here and calm is healthy for S.
But is it healthy for me?
This is really hard. I don't know if I should even be on DB anymore. Perhaps I need to take more drastic measures with H and just move on.
The one thing DB and all you fabulous friends have helped me with is keeping my cool. I had ODP in full force and I"m sure that stunned H. He was so sure this news would send me over the edge. I am not avoiding it, but I"m not going to mother him either. I'm gathering info calmly to help myself and my son.
