WHat has worked in the past? More importantly , what hasn't worked?
Well, Hope, that's hard to say because I only have two previous situations to go on when he went on trips with her. The first time this happened last July I asked direct questions if she had anything to do with the trip. He lied repeatedly and said "no". So, when the next trip came up in Sept. I didn't even ask... I was starting to DB then... and i "acted as if". I pretended everything was fine, but then when he was gone found out she went to the same city and took the same time off work he did. So, two different approaches, both with the same negative outcome.
If you are talking about the "big picture" of what has historically worked in my M... well, my H has never responded well to being "badgered" by questions or "pressured" by my concerns, fears etc. The last few years before the A I was trying to give him "more space" as that seemed to be what he wanted. But now I am finding it out that this is in part what led to this crisis because he was apparently so lonely.
Part of my problem is that, prior to the A, I honestly thought we had a good M and that I knew and understood what worked with him and what didn't. Everything is being re-defined now. I feel like I don't know anything anymore about what works with him and what doesn't .I feel lost.
