Welcome back. Sorry to see that your sitch has continued to deteriorate.
My W moved out shortly after you took a breather from the boards and although it isn't a good development overall it has provided me with a greater opportunity to truly detach. The tension and awkwardness associated with being under the same roof and the OM horse sh1t circulating around was unhealthy.
Yes, the initial week or two following the move out will recharge some of the emotional baggage you might have had a handle on prior to the move out but you will get a new handle on it soon enough. You will also slowly start to feel better than you did while under the same roof.
I'm not sure what kind of arrangements you and the W have made regarding your sons but I suggest you develope a game plan for the additional time alone you will have on your hands.
In my sitch the kids rotate on a 2/2/3 schedule and when you have the kids you will probably be way to busy to dwell on the f'd up situation you are in. However, when you don't have em you'll want to occupy as much of that free time alone with plenty of activities. I'm still in need of filling some of that free time. When it isn't filled my mind tends to wander in to the abyss.
I have for the most part gone NC and as dark as is possible given the kid factor. The W seems to be following a similiar game plan. Since she moved out (1/26) I have seen her only one time outside of our mediation sessions and we have exchanged a handful of text messages. All contact has been centered around the kids. We have been cordial with eachother I continue to treat her nicely when we are around eachother.
So far the kids seem to be okay with the new arrangements. They probably understand more than I or she gives them credit for. They often ask "where is mommy" when they are with me and I assume the reverse happens at her place. It saddens me greatly that they will not grow up in a normal family household but I try not to dwell on that reality.
My sitch started in early Oct. with the W filing for D and we are now in draft settlement stage with the mediator. From what the mediator is saying will be D by June.
M48/W47 M15/T22 S3 D3 In House Separation 10/06/09 W files for D 10/16/09 OM1 discovered 10/28/09 (PA) OM2 in mix early Jan. W moved out 1/26/10 In Mediation (Settlement in prep)
