SR- I have very similar feelings to you. That part of the book resonated so much with me- where she talks about how they rewrite history- suddenly everything is remembered differently, or selectively remembered, through a filter of how they feel today. It's maddening. As if they would've stayed married to us if NOTHING was EVER good. C'mon. But it hurts. I at first tried to argue with my H when he started down that road, but stopped quickly after reading the book. *I* know our past. *I* know we had happy times- lots of them. And I believe that you did, too. Perhaps it just eases their conscience about what they're doing now to rewrite b/c it's easier to convince themselves they have no reason to stay- if it were ever happy with us, then they may not be justified in what they're doing to us now.
I tell myself that, but it still hurts when they do a rewrite. My heart aches for you when I read about your interactions around DD- I mean, I think you're doing great stuff, but I just wish you didn't have to even discuss sharing time with her or whether she can visit you. It must be very sad- kudos to you for handling it maturely and like a good parent, even if there are times when her mother doesn't.
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
