So my last thread locked. I think I copied the link above correctly but that is my last thread.
This past weekend I made the 6 hour drive back to me and husband's apartment to get the rest of my things. He is moving into his "BP" or bachelor pad as he calls it next week and we had to have all the things out of our old apartment by March 31st.
I planned on arriving Saturday and leaving on Sunday. Husband told me that he would be at work from 4pm to 4 am on Sat going into Sunday so I really didn't plan or expect to see husband while I was getting the rest of my things. On my way back to the apartment, husband told me his work schedule changed and he would be at there when I arrived.
When I got there, husband looked me up and down, told me that i looked nice and that I seemed to have lost some weight. He also said he liked my haircut. I told him thanks then I got on the computer to send out a few emails for my business. Husband came over the computer and chatted with me for a while and gave me a massage. It was late when I got to the house...around 7pm . My MIL was also in town for the week with two of her girlfriends for a women's conference. She called while I was driving and asked me to stop by their hotel with husband. Husband asked if I was going with him and then could we go get something to eat. While at MIL's hotel, husband was flirting with me in front of him mom and her friends, hugging me, and just being all into me. I will admit that it was nice but I knew it was an illusion.
After we left MIL's hotel, we went to a nice restaurant but I told husband I wanted to sit at the bar instead of a table. There was a wait and I was tired and hungry. Husband was surprised that I would sit at the bar and seemed happy (the NCAA tournament was on:-)). WE ordered some drinks and then ate and just talked. I was telling husband a story about this pastor of a mega church that recently wrote a book about his bad decisions (cheating on his wife, having greed) and how he had to deal with enormous consequences. The book is called "World War Me" and the pastor was talking about how the biggest challenge we face in life is the one where we have to deal with ourselves. My husband then says "that is me, isn't it?" I was clearly annoyed that my husband used my story to turn it back on himself and I guess I showed my annoyance in my face. Husband apologized and said, "I don't know why I make everything about me...I guess I am selfish, huh?" I said, you can be selfish at times. Then husband says , "you are selfish too 4luv." I just said, yes, I can be selfish at times in certain instances and dropped it before it became an argument.
When we got back to the apartment, I was wrapping and packing dishes while husband was talking to me. HE was telling me how he gave his cousin marital advice when he came to visit. He told his cousin to not live his life with regrets, etc...and some other things that I don't agree with. HIs cousin has been married for 10years (got married at 23) and is feeling like his life is at a standstill, that he never got to explore life...blah, blah, blah. My husband goes on to say that the advice he was giving his cousin is the type of advice he wants someone to give him. Then he goes on to say that he doesn't have anyone to talk to and that I don't call him, I don't care about him, etc. I gave him a look that said "PU-LLEASE DON'T START THAT CRAP"and then husband laughed at my annoyed look.
The next morning as husband was getting dressed for work, he said that this time together felt like when we were dating and I would come to visit him. I responded, "that is what you are used to but we are not dating." He had no response.
I left that morning and husband called while I was driving to tell me that even though he was at work I could call and talk to him if I wanted to talk while I was driving. He hasn't done that in a LONG TIME. We used to keep each other company over the phone when we were dating long distance and one of us would drive back to our home after visiting the other. I said ok but didn't call him the entire 6 hour trip.
Its been back to business as usual with us. I didn't contact him at all yesterday. He ended up calling around 8pm to "check on son and catch him before he went to bed." I told him that he needs to call NLT 7pm in order to talk to son b4 bedtime. Then I told him I had to go because I was in the process of shipping out an order for my biz. HE asked about my biz and gave me some input on what HE thought I should be doing. I told him thanks for the input and then hung up.
I guess its back to normal with us. I don't see my husband making a move towards divorce but I also don't see him rushing to reconcile anytime soon either. I am in the dreaded LIMBO!!
Oh, one more fun fact I forgot...while I was using the computer in the apartment, I noticed that husband had been frequenting a swingers club site. Then he asked me about joining a swingers club with him...I told him that was disrespectful and disgusting, he tried to tell me that its not what i think its all about and then told me that his "date" was actually meeting with one of the members about joining. He said that males are not allowed to join by themselves but females can and thats why he wants us to join! Just SICKENING!!! I hung up. This convo happened on Sunday night when he called to see if I made it back safely.
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo
