It's one step at a time. Once you realize that you can't control them or emotionally legislate them back into your marriage, you begin to understand why it's best to detach and go forward.

Right now, STBXW and I split the weekends since she works on Sats. On Sundays, when I don't have the kids, I coach girls lacrosse and assistant coach my son's baseball team.

Try to keep busy and find things to do with your time. Do things now because YOU WANT TO DO THEM, not based on what reaction it will bring about in your wife. Achieve financial stability so that you can pay your bills and take care of yourself NOT to show your wife you can do it or win her back.

And finally, even if there is no hope that you can see for your marriage, would meeting a woman right now HELP you or hurt your chances? Think about this. As men, we certainly want and need affection from a woman. If you believe the differences in the species as we educate ourselves, women have emotional needs while men are validated physically. You may want to put in perspective, as you enter this difficult phase, whether this is going under the Potentially Helps Me column or the Potentially Hurts Me column.

You'll be out of the hurt locker in due time.

FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;