Seeking Serenity...

[Gardener]

Serenity,

The people ROCK and all my loved ones are here so why go elsewhere?
I can find all the advice/2x4's/friendship/love/shoulders/hugs here...

I know. I've missed a few even though I do go back and forth (Surviving to Newcomers) somewhat.

What brought about the dropping of the "DB" labels?

Watch me fly my friend!

Oh, I have. I have.
As long as I know where to find you, that's all that matters.

((((Hugs)))))

[Serenity13]

What made me drop the labels?

Something Puppy said awhile ago in passing about putting to much stock in the labels...

Everyone comes here looking for a neat little box to put their sitch into...

Wrapped up all nice and pretty with a big shiny red bow...

They read and read until they can find a sitch similar to theirs along with a possible timeline they can try to match and boom -

There is your Christmas present -

Then what happens when your sitch doesn't turn out the way the other one did?

You find another box and cram it into there, hoping for the best...

You do this over and over and over until you get tired of cramming it into a box and actually stop and take stock of the entire situation including what you as a spouse may have contributed to it.

I was guilty of this as well...

So I decided to remove the labels...

In order to heal I can't have any labels

You always know where to find me - In the wind

(((Hugs)))

[motherof3]

Everyone comes here looking for a neat little box to put their sitch into...

Wrapped up all nice and pretty with a big shiny red bow...

They read and read until they can find a sitch similar to theirs along with a possible timeline they can try to match and boom -

There is your Christmas present -

I am just as guilty too. I went searching and searching. So many similarities and yet so many differences.

Thanks for the new perspective, Serenity. Maybe I need to drop the labels too.

[Serenity13]

(((MO3)))

Always nice to see you my friend...

Maybe I need to drop the labels too.

It made it easier for me...

I tried like hell to find that shiny box to cram it into and only when I realized my sitch is mine and mine alone was I able to look at it from a different point of view.

Have a blessed day my friend!

[chatterbug]

I am so proud my friend. The journey as always is beginning and ongoing.

“Let your mind start a journey thru a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to be...Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you'll live as you've never lived before.”

Erich Fromm

[Serenity13]

((((CB))))

No words for you my friend - You know how I feel about you...

Unconditional love

[Serenity13]

Update...

I was leaving today to pick up little man from school...

Had to use the ladies room first...

Came out of the restroom and caught a glimpse of a young man going into my office...

My oldest son...

I haven't seen him since February - What a sight he was...

Handsome as ever - Then it dawned on me - He lives an hour away so what is he doing at my office in the middle of the day and how did he get there?...

You guessed it...

My H was there...

I had no choice but to take a deep breath and go down the stairs...

He was parked next to my sisters' car...

I walked out laughing and smiling with my S...

Waved a little to H and walked over to the car...

Put my stuff in the car and faced my S...

Asked him about school...

Life etc...

He gave me a big hug then got into the car...

H tried to hug me from the drivers side window (AS IF!)...

Since I wasn't budging he got out of the car...

He came to hug me and while I tried to stiff arm him, it didn't work...

He looked me up and down as I did the same to him - He didn't say anything at first - I said and I quote - "You look like s**t" (Yes I spoke before I thought)...

His hair hasn't been cut in months and he looks like he gained about 15-20lbs...

Scruffy is how he looked...

He started asking about little man...

Let him know he was fine and I was off to pick him up from school...

He started talking about his heart problems and his Dr. I listened because I am nice like that.

I also let him know that we were best friends long before we got married and I would prefer to keep the friendship for the sake of the boys...

And then I did it - I asked about the troll...

Me - Where is your girlfriend?

Him - Who?

Me - M - Where is she?

Him - At work

Me - Are you still together?

Him - I don't know.

Me - See ya...

He got the look on his face - The one he always got right before he said "I love you" and before he uttered a word, I turned with a smile on my face and walked away.

Not 10 minutes later I started getting nice texts from him...

This is the nicest he has been in over a year and I can say without any conviction 3 things...

I am fully detached!

I didn't "feel" anything!

I no longer need his validation! See G - I admitted it to all!

(((((HUGS)))))

[luvless]

i just LOVE this...^

[Puppy Dog Tails]

He looked me up and down as I did the same to him - He didn't say anything at first - I said and I quote - "You look like s**t" ...

LMFAO!!!

Puppy

[Serenity13]

((((Puppy))))

Glad you got a laugh out of it

I thought I had learned better to hold my tongue however it just flew out of my mouth before I could pull it back in.